Is It Love Or Attachment?

"Maybe the problem with love these days is that someone says they love you, and you just wonder how long for."

~J.L. Johnson

Hellooooo, people. 

I especially collected a few quotes for this write-up today. Because gawd today's topic is the question that has hit all of us at some point and quotes misguide you if you don't get them well. Not just quotes, any words can create chaos inside you if you don't understand them; be it the words of authors, your lover, your enemy or even a stranger.

Haven't we all asked or been asked these questions?

Is It Love? Or Just An Infatuation? An Attachment? Or The Beginning Of Meeting Your Soulmate?

Before answering, let's just talk about why do we even question this? Why can't we just be in that love or attraction or whatever it is?

Because experiences, darling. You don't want to get hurt. You just want to be cautious about where are you giving your time and if it's right to prioritize them over the things which have been your priority for so long.

You want things to be clear even if you yourself make them blurred by asking these questions. Asking questions isn't wrong. Nope, not at all. But which one to ask and to whom matter a lot. Doesn't it?

If asking "what is it" is the wrong question, then what's the right one?

seat belts please? we're going on a ride to find out

Let's go with two terms. Love. Attachment.

Love is what you want to be in. Attachment is what you get hurt from.

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"If you love something, let it go. If it comes back, it was meant to be. If it does not, hunt it down & kill it."

~Herry Crews

Guess what is the quote about? Love or attachment?

My answer? Both.

The part where it says to let it go, it's love.

The part where it says if it doesn't come back then hunt it down and kill it, it's attachment. 

both in intense levels

When you love someone, you want them to be happy. If you realize they can get greater happiness at a place where you can't be with them, you let them go. Because you love them and you want them to be the happiest even if that means being apart from them.

When you're attached with --or say, extremely interested in-- somebody, you want them to be happy. The only difference is you yourself want to be the reason for their happiness. You want them to be the happiest in the world but only when they're with you. You can see them happy in other places and with other people, --even the ones you don't like-- but you urge them to be the happiest with you.

In love, you're like: I wish this person gets all the happiness in the world.

In attachment, you're like: I want to give this person all the happiness that's there in the world.

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"I don't care, I love you anyhow. It is too late to turn you out of my heart. Part of you lives here."

~Anne Sexton

What's this about? Mostly love but there's a part where you might misunderstand it as an attachment.

Love is when you can say: You love me? You don't? Doesn't matter. I love you anyhow. You stay in my heart and I'm happy to have a part of you in me.

Attachment is: You love me? You don't? I'll try my best to show my love and you'll fall in love with me too. If I throw you out of my heart, it's going to hurt me because a part of you lives here. I've loved you for so long that now that part is mine. It is too late to turn you out of my heart. I'll make you fall in love with me. Till then, I'll love you. Because so what if you don't love me? I love you anyhow.

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"Have you ever been in love? Horrible, isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up."

~Neil Gaiman

What's this? Guess?

Love it is.

Love demands you to be vulnerable. If you can't open yourself to someone, you can't love them. You can be loved by them. You can be attached to them. But, if you don't feel vulnerable enough, you're not in love with them. Love wants you to accept the possibility of getting hurt. You can't stay on the shores and let the tides of love hit you. You got to step in the ocean and let the possibility of getting drowned become real. 

If it's attachment, you won't be able to dive in the water even if you're capable of swimming --meaning you've had experiences in how to get over someone. If you don't "love" them,  you can learn to swim for them, you can dive in the ocean even if you've hydrophobia, you can cross the ocean with them, but it will all be because you want them to show how much you love them, you want to tell them to look, i crossed the ocean for you,  you do all of it either holding their hand making sure you're with them or in the craving of wanting to hold their hand so that you could be with them.

Whatever you do for a person you're attached to, is done when you want something from them. Their love, their attention, their permission for you to love them or something else.

Whatever you do for a person you're in love with, is done because you want to do it for them. The only difference is that you don't expect a reward from them for what you do for them. You just love them. 

If you do something for them and you don't get anything in return.  If you second-guess why you did what you did, it's attachment. If you're satisfied with getting just a single smile when you've moved a damn mountain for them,  you love them, darling.

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"If you do not love me, I shall not be loved.

If I do not love you, I shall not love."

~Samuel Beckett

Now, this one is yours to ponder over. What is it love or attachment?

don't ask me, give me your logic

I hope you might have got the right questions, there are a lot of right questions in this write-up, I'll still give you one more that probably is the only question you'll get your answer from.

Don't ask if it's love or infatuation from them or people around.

Ask yourself: If this person doesn't give me what they already give, would I still love them?

~Miss V