If You're Saving Someone

You might be saving a lot of people at a specific point of time while dealing with your own issues.
This write-up is more or less an appreciation post for all the people who are listeners, saviours, problem solvers, life savers and someone's "everything". 

You're either struggling in your own issues or struggling while saving someone else from theirs. In one story, you might be struggling yourself, in another you might be the reason someone is suffering. In one you're holding someone from falling off the edge and in another, you might be drowning yourself while finding your own way out.

Afterall, our life isn't one-story line. At a particular point of time, there are many stories going on.

The struggles I'm referring to might be:-

Physically sick, emotionally drained, fight against your own feelings, obsession of drugs, mental health issues, accepting that the person you love is sadist, suicidal thoughts, losing one parent to death and another to drinking as their coping mechanism, trauma since childhood, severe attraction towards dark choices, any of the above or all of the above, maybe? 

I still haven't mentioned all the possibilities

And you might be either their supporter who just won't give up on them or maybe someone who can't leave their side and have the only choice of suffering at their decisions, directly or indirectly inflicted upon you.

Usually, the one with the struggles are considered as main character and the one helping them as side character.

Pick out a movie or a book and look at someone who's either the protagonist (of whom the story is) or someone who's dealing with some issues. 

You tell me, if the protagonist is the one doing the saving of their sibling or best friend or lover or life partner or parents, wouldn't they still be called the main character? You'd even glorify them more like they did all this, achieved all this AND even when they had their so-and-so with them whom they had to take care of.

But when it's the protagonist who's dealing with something, why isn't the "side character" talked about with the same glorification?

Again, think of a movie or a book or heck, even real life example. And just think about the version of the story without the "side character". Would the main character survive? Would they be at this same emotional level in this version of story? Would they take the same amount of time to reach this state of their mind?

When someone is dealing with issues, suppose suicidal thoughts. People don't know how responsible the "side character" feel, as a listener, for the one who's dealing with these thoughts? Even if they know, they forget how it feels to get bind with that place on just their sufferers' side? 'cause what if they get some harmful urges and you ain't there to hold them?

Everybody talks about the people who are directly affected by an incident; how difficult it is for them, how they can't afford to be at that specific place because of fear of drowning in the painful memories, how they can't sleep anymore unless their tired body throws themselves to the bed and their eyes can't stay open due to crying rivers? 

But. Who would talk about the people taking care of them? About you. Why ain't their struggle taken into consideration? And even if it does, why the talk is less for people taking all their someone's shit when they themselves got their own to deal with? Why are they considered as side character when they're suffering as much as the main one?

In what measurements do you compare who's suffering more? The person dying painfully or the one watching them dying helplessly?

Would dying for your loved one be a good decision or letting them die painfully is better? Think. Die in utmost physical pain or live with painful memories of someone's death for the rest of their life?

Why ain't the people taking care considered to be taken care of, too? And, when their sufferers leave due to the same misery they were in, let's say, death how this "side character" is supposed to go on with their life? 

If you've also taken intense care of someone, this is for you, darling

We're expected to bury the sufferings they were dealing with --along with the sufferer sometimes-- dust off our knees from where we fell and move on with our lives; as if we didn't just strangle all the care and attention out of us. When you wring a cloth after washing to lose its water, it gets wrinkled. How different a human being is? We're wrinkled enough to lose water in form of tears, why ain't our wrinkles visible? And, if you'd say "oh stop it, human beings ain't anything like clothes, they're stronger", then, what happens when you wring a stone? Nothing? Oh honey, you haven't applied enough pressure, 'cause if you'd have, you'd know it gets ripped into shreds. Pieces small enough to give them a different shape.

Sufferings change people. You might have heard "this person is so changed because they had dealt with a lot". But, Gawd! People who have been standing with the shield against all the sufferings, who gave off their strength to stop the pain are changed too and that's because they've gone through all of that too!

Ever heard of a disaster which destroyed just a bedroom of the house? When the disaster destroys a person, it's not just one person who gets ruined, it's the people around them, too, which you shamelessly call "oh, they are just the side character".

And if you're the sufferer:-

If you're getting someone in your mind who took care of you and still does 'cause apparently taking care of someone doesn't have a switch off button. If they're with you, you're still taken care of, even if you don't realise. If your mind has got that person into it who took immense care of you, this is for you and this is necessary. So pay attention. 

good

How do you feel like when they take care of you? And, realising how your suffering affects them, are you feeling that you've burdened them? Don't you think you should just leave and be out of their life so that they can "live"?

Stop right there.

DON'T YOU DARE THINK THAT!

People who are taking care of you would be at even more suffering if you leave. Why? Wouldn't they be at ease? Wouldn't it save them so much time?

No, you idiot! sowwie, but that's what I'll call you if you think of leaving

They definitely ain't going to be at ease. The time they take care of you would be replaced by the time they'd worry about you, not living. Now, they take care of you and be relaxed even if they ain't your solution because they're relieved you ain't alone. If you leave (don't you even dare!), they won't be at peace with the thought of you being alone and even if you've other people to turn to, they --and even you-- know that no one can care for you the way they do. If you leave, they'll have another thing for not being at peace and that is the thought: "I took so much care of them, I gave everything in me to protect them and still they left. I wish I were enough."

"I wish I were enough" is the thought they'll have. Not your stupid "oh, finally they're gone, now I can live" thought. You know them and you know I'm right.

So what do you do? They're struggling because of you and you'll let them? No, my lovely idiot. They're suffering because YOU are suffering, not because they've to stay with you for it. You end their sufferings by being strong, by putting an end to whatever bothers you. If it's not in your hand at the moment, show them you're strong. Don't just tell them but show them. That's the only way they'll believe you. Give them reward for all the struggles you both have faced by proving life that you and your saviour are stronger than any suffering on Earth.

And, for all the people who don't give a second thought when asked to help, here's the line which you don't get to listen a lot and take it don't "no no it's okay" me-

"I appreciate you, precious saviours."

yes, people! that's what you call them, not some freakin' side character

~Miss V