Do You Miss Your Old Self?

Let's get started with what I got to tell you today. I snatched my one thought out of the chain of thoughts and I've three questions and a bit of afterthought.

Do you remember school time when topper of the class would have a special or superior image in your and teachers' mind? You go to the topper student and ask them any question from the book and they'd just have a look at it and explain all of it to you? You'd just know whom to ask for notebook when you've an incomplete one, right?

Some would appreciate them, some just kept it to themselves. Yes, jealous people would be there too. I still don't believe it though --that people would be jealous seeing someone happy or at the top or achieving success. But still wrote it, atleast somewhere I gotta pretend that I'm aware of the world, its people and the fact that not everyone's kind hearted or innocent or all the good things. Shh, don't focus on the 'pretend' word there.

Another question. Do you also remember that when you ask any of your friends now, before exams, that how much they're done with and they start with "oh dude, I haven't even started yet"?

Ultimate question. How did we go from telling everyone that we've studied so thoroughly and prepared everything well to this point where we're telling even our best friends that we ain't prepared with this topic even when it's just the revision of it we're left with?

Are we really having some extreme trust issues? Or are we really not studying? Are we becoming experts in procrastination without someone teaching it to us? Or is it the inbuilt habit of telling lies? 

johnny johnny, yes papa

eating sugar, no papa

telling lies, no papa

open your mouth, ha ha ha

We must have forgotten to implement the third line, I guess? Afterall, it's been a long time.

Let's consider this process of travelling from one stage to this present stage as a piece of cloth, take one side and look closely. Let's find out how did we reach to the other end.

*takes one corner*

Here we are, telling everyone that we completed our homework, being proud of not having any remark even once for getting less than 5 out of 10, of not having to stand on desk as punishment for so and so reason. 

Let's move a bit further, we've started to do our homework late at nights because we spent the entire day in playing. 

A bit further, we're too tired to open the notebook for solving problems and we've just learnt that it's not necessary to do all of it on our own when we can note it down from someone else.

A bit further. We've learnt a new word and understood it by actually doing it: Procrastination. Now, we ask for someone's notebook before the day of checking and complete the pending work since days ago.

And here comes the point when we've started telling everyone "I didn't do homework" whenever they ask about it. Now, doing it at the last moment makes you look like a liar. 

You might have heard "he said that he hasn't studied anything just ten days back before the exams and he has scored so decent". Ever wondered that he might have replied "no" to your question "is he prepared"? He might not have been prepared ten days ago because for him, definition of preparation includes revision. You took this No on the basis of your definition where preparation means you've gone through this topic atleast once.

If you've ever asked someone about how much they're prepared with, remember how "prepared" means different to all of us.

This cloth --of our journey from 'everything prepared' to 'haven't even started'-- is of different type, size, material, design for every one of us. There are different ways in which we reached from this to that. Some of us didn't travel all the way; some weren't at the starting point, some never reached the end point (good for them), some are stucked at a certain stage and some are lost. Figure out for yourself; which point you are at and, how and where did you reach here from?

Make sure you're happy and satisfied with the point you're at. If you ain't, you can always go where you'll be content, okay, darling? Believe in yourself.

And you do realise that it's just a bit of discipline you're missing. You very well know what you're capable of. You can become that level of productive again, even more if you wish.

I'm here to remind you what you already know:-

You sometimes refer to your old self as someone who you've lost and can't get back --say, the version who didn't procrastinate, achieved all the targets which you yourself would have set, would find a reason to smile even in the hardest times and all the things you once were. It's just about a few habits. Procrastination is a habit. If you've developed it, you can shed it off too. Easy to say, hard to do, you'd say? Bold of you to assume that I'm not a procrastinator. I am. Gawd, accepting this hits my heart. I'm gonna change it, okay? Atleast I've decided to. You decide too if you think procrastination is making you lag behind on your targets.

If you've reached at this end stage of the cloth where you ain't your best version, get up and move where you're best. And it's not the literal movement and there's no need to travel somewhere. The versions of yourself are in your mind, so you don't have the excuse that you didn't get permission from your parents to go out. Hehe. okay, serious

If you've learnt to delay every work to five minutes later, remember you can always minimize it to four. And slowly reduce and you'll someday reach to GET TO IT, NOW stage. see, I'm not telling you to be hard on yourself, go slow honey, you'll reach there

Once you start doing it, you'll realise how much time you're left with to spend the way you want to, without guilt of your pending works. And the satisfaction you get after completing something with procrastination is nothing compared to doing it on time. Your self confidence boosts up. The realisation of being disciplined by your own rules is something that you'll have to experience yourself; words won't do justice with the bliss feeling.

You can always go back to the version of yourself you wish to be. It's the same you; it's just covered with that layer of your unwanted habits which you yourself don't want to have.

The good old you misses you and if you miss it too, go to it. Be happy. Be satisfied. Love yourself. Set a target and respect yourself enough to complete it and be the person you're proud of.

Tell me that you'd try to shed off the layer of the habits you don't want, by dropping a few words and/or hearts in the comments. If you even acknowledge that layer, just let me know, privately if you want

oh, and don't you dare scroll your feed on Instagram or get to replying people or something else, get to work NOW

If the commanding tone doesn't work for you then, here catch this

*blows you a kiss* 

please get to work and feel the satisfaction, okay darling? 

~Miss V