When Are You Alone Exactly?

What would you answer? You're alone right now? An hour ago? Yesterday? 

I'm in no hurry, tell me your answer at the end. 

What does being alone mean? When you've no human being present around you, is one possible answer. But that's not very good answer when you might have experienced that you can feel alone even in a room of ten people. 

Again, what does being alone mean? When you've no one to speak to? But, you might have experienced feeling alone when you can speak to someone but they ain't really listening to you. So, even better answer is, when you've no one to have a conversation with.

On the second thought, do you remember or have observed when you've people around you saying "I'm here to talk, if you want to" and you know they ain't just saying but actually mean it? So, you've people for having conversation --those quality talks which you're looking for-- but still you feel alone. So, nope. Let's find a better answer.

Maybe you're alone when you don't want anyone to talk to, have no one around to bother you and when you can sit just by your own? But. If you're upset or heartbroken or in any other undesirable feeling, you're with the memories of someone or many people. So, you see? You ain't alone there too. Let's look for another answer.

What about when you've no people around, you don't 'need' anyone to talk to AND you are peacefully sitting with no undesirable feeling? Seems right, this time? 

I'm afraid, not.

If you're sitting peacefully, either you're replaying the good memories or daydreaming or seeing something in your imagined future. Your memories or imagination accompany you.

If you ain't sitting idle, you might be watching movie, then you think you can say you're alone? I guess, you know better than that at this point. You ain't alone even there. You're feeling things which others --people on your device's screen-- are making you feel, at this moment. 

You ain't alone here too.

Think better.

If you're listening music, maybe then? But then you're in a conversation where you're listening. To someone's serious feelings or their random thoughts or their unrequited love or the unspoken -till now- trauma. You're in a conversation where you're the listener. Again, not alone.

If you're reading a book, in silence, maybe then? Those are mere words. You're in a library with nothing but combination of twenty six alphabets in different patterns. Now, these alphabets, book covers, papers, they ain't breathing species and you reading those letters literally means you're hallucinating while looking at ink on very well processed parts of trees,  so you're finally alone while reading. Right?

You really do hope to get it right this time, don't you?

Not right, again.

You could have been alone there but you're alone with the writer now. So, not alone again. The author might have written the piece of writing sitting alone an year ago or maybe 200 years ago. And, now you're reading the same thing, feeling the same emotions sitting here alone. You both are just in different time zones but you ain't alone here too. You're feeling things that ain't your own, which definitely doesn't fit into being alone.

Whether you're happy or hurt, you can't be alone ever. Take it as a blessing or a curse, but that's what it looks like. Doesn't it?

When you're with people, either it's them who accompany you or your thoughts which make you feel alone. When you 'feel' alone, you're just not able to communicate your emotions in the right words to the right person. 

Being around a bunch of people makes you feel alone because either they ain't the right people or they won't have the level of mastery in your language of emotions at this time. 

Being physically alone makes you feel alone because the torture of memories makes you realise you ain't with that specific person. Memories accompany you. Pain too.

At this point, I guess, reading or watching a piece of art doesn't even come in the question 'cause you're not just in your world now, you're in theirs too. Even if you're alone in one --which doesn't look attainable-- you've another world too, in which you surely have a story going on.

Whenever you feel that the feelings you have right now is something no one would understand, you're just not looking hard enough. There really are people who know exactly what you're feeling. And, when I say "exactly", you gotta believe me there, 'cause honey, being an empath at an extremely dangerous level, I KNOW exactly how this specific person is feeling, not because they're expressing it too well, but because I feel it myself. And, I ain't the only emphatic person in the world. They are around you too.

And if you're one of those kind souls who wouldn't want any other person to feel what you're feeling because it's terrible, go for art. That's the best road you can take when you want to be alone but you won't be, now you know.

Listen to songs, see drawings, watch movies/series, read books --not just by famous artists but people around you or random strangers even-- you'll know that what you're feeling, can be found somewhere in the art. Maybe it's a bunch of words in lyrics or the exact same feeling in a movie. Maybe the melody of that song which you feel connected to or a combination of those 26 alphabets or less in a paragraph. You can find your own feelings in someone else's art. And, if you think it's difficult, well give it a try and if not, then darling, you can be a creator too. Don't worry that the words won't come or you ain't talented enough. Nope. That's a lie you tell yourself.

If you don't find the story you're looking for, write on your own.

If you don't have a song conveying your feelings, sing it yourself.

Don't aim for perfection. If artists who you know by name even if you haven't met them, would have thought they'd produce the perfect art, they would never have started. They didn't produce perfect art. Their arts are called perfect by other people. And, it's okay if you don't wish to be a famous artist, write for yourself, you precious human!

Write, draw, paint, sing. Create!

Why should you create art for others? On the level of their defined terms of perfection? 

Create art which fits in YOUR definition of perfect. Create it for yourself. And, why art? Why even do that? Because if people don't make conversation with you in your language, oh darling, ain't you aware that your art will speak your language? Just give it a try. Okay? And, now, take it as a blessing or a curse: YOU. ARE. NOT. ALONE.

Just one more question, how much is the battery in your device right now? 

Check it.

Please?

Checked? Thankyou.

Here's another proof of you ain't alone. I just made you check the battery. I'm with you, here. Right here.

Wanna answer the question I asked in title now?

~Miss V