Do You Have Some Answers?

"Sometimes I think, I need a spare heart to feel all the things I feel."
~Sanober Khan, A Thousand Flamingos

I've a question for you. 

or maybe more than one

It doesn't have a correct answer or an incorrect one. It's just you and the question. You probably have the answer or you don't. It can be correct or not.

Would you like to hug a person if you're told that it's the last hug from them?

People who would say Yes and those who would say No, focus more on the word hug and the word last, respectively.

For me? I don't know. The question revolves in my mind; without the answer.

Okay, another one.

Remember the point where you think your life started to change from that situation to the one you're in, right now? What if you could change that moment? 

let me explain this one

Suppose it was a person that changed your life --for better or worse-- and you met this person while you were at a particular place at a particular time. What if you could change the place or the time and could make that meeting impossible for you then, do you think it would be different now?

People who would say Yes: Think about this-

If you didn't meet that person at that moment, maybe you'd have met them the next day? You'll still meet this person and everything would go the way it went. So, would changing a single moment really make the difference?

Also, how could you be sure that it was that very moment which changed your life? How could you be sure that it would be that moment you'd like to change to modify your current situation? Couldn't it be possible that it was not the meeting with that person but the one thing you said or the one thing they did that changed all of it?

People who would say No: You're saying that changing a single moment or two, would not change the situation of your life in present. So, does that mean you're saying that your choices don't decide anything? 

Are you saying that we're doomed to be in this situation we're in, no matter what we choose and we can't even change it now because the choices we'll make now also won't change the situation of our future because it's already decided --considering that changing a single thing would still result in the way it's decided to be?

Another:

Don't you think there are always two choices? When you're presented with a lot of options, you're able to sort them out and finally end up with two. Sometimes, when it's just one option, it's either yes to choosing or no to it. No matter what, you always have two roads you could go on. If there's only one, you either want to go or you don't. There's always the number two in the number of choices.

Sometimes you listen to your heart and think how it would have turned out the other way and sometimes you do as your brain says and realise you ain't satisfied enough?

When was the moment you realised that you ain't taking decision as if you're one person, but rather taking your decisions by listening to two things: heart and brain? 

When you were a kid, you either wanted that toy or you didn't. You either wanted to go to play or you didn't. When did your heart and brain split in two different teams?

Another:

When exactly did you stop speaking "ghosts" as the answer to what's your biggest fear?

And why is it losing the people you love and being left alone?

Another:

Why ain't you able to leave the things that are toxic for you? You know that you shouldn't do this but you still do. You know that you've a proper reason for not doing it but you still continue doing it. 

Why ain't you stopping the things which you shouldn't do?

And why is it those same things which give you relief?

Another:

You all have studied the human body diagram. You know there's no space inside. Then, how so much of emptiness you still have?

And what about the box you keep inside with all the hidden things? Where is it? Could you point it out in that human body diagram?

if you could, please do, so that I could ask a surgeon to take it out; mine's getting quite heavy

Another:

okay, last one

Why is it that all the questions I asked made you think that most of them were directed to you? And why do you feel attacked?

I didn't have YOU in my mind but still it feels like I had? 

You know why's that?

Because, although our lives are different, we still feel similar things. Take it as a blessing or a burden --better to keep it as blessing-- that what you're feeling right now isn't felt just by you. There are other people who are feeling the way you're feeling. If not exactly same, then a part of it, probably in different intensity. That's the reason people look for someone who would understand because of the hope that they too might have felt this way, if not right now then at some point in their lives. And then there are people who actually do understand, proving even if we're living different lives, the set of feelings is shared by all of us.

There isn't a way to know who are these people who are feeling the similar things as you. They might be close to you or far. They may be someone you just talked to or maybe whose words you're reading right now.

Sometimes, I really feel that there's just a lot of things to say and a lot to listen. But there isn't enough time. But then, I guess we shouldn't have more time. Maybe a little extra life would be harmful for us. Less bearable.

And, if to speak for myself, I sometimes wish to have more time but, if it means to have this time with same situations, no thankyou. I'm already having enough of this.

And, if suppose, I get a little extra time with my own set of conditions, then? Would I be okay?

Uh, that's difficult to say. But, considering the heart I have, I guess, I'm okay with the time I have, right now.

If I get more time, I'd feel more things. And this heart? It's already filled upto its brim with feelings.

Just a bit more and I'd need another vessel --oh I mean-- another heart, which is a crime to ask for.

Because, another heart can be taken only if someone loves you and give their heart to you or if you murder someone and take theirs out by yourself.

I don't intend to ask someone to love me but I-

okay, let's not speak what I think about having to kill someone

Oops, that was second last question.

The last one is:

Would you like to have another heart? 

It's mine. 

Take it as you like. 

I can love you but if you want a bit more urgently, you can go for the other way too to take it.

~Miss V