I Expect Something From You, You

Hello, soulmate.

no, not this

Hello, partner.

sounds like a business intro, scratch that

Hello, uh, Love(?)

ndnsjsjsjsjs

i- uh- let me try once more

Hello, You.

better, much better

You're going to be an important part of my life someday, you know that, yes? 

hehe, you already are

I think of you sometimes.

that "sometimes" is not true

I've a few things to say to you. This is the first time I'm writing something for you. Words written for YOU by ME exist in this universe now.

finally

It's difficult to talk to you because uh, you're.. unknown? Uh, not unknown. But I don't know you (yet)

No, I mean-

gawd, it's really so difficult

I actually wanted to say-

let me find some words

Okay, here. 

*takes a deep breath*

*forgets to exhale*

Okay, yes. Here. Finally. Yes, I'm speaking.

*exhales*

*starts breathing properly*

sowwie

Hey, I'm fluent in speaking, I swear. Ask the people around me. I really am. It's just.. uh, it's.. You.

I mean, you ain't scary or something but, I-

*finds a door to run through*

I have to say this, Gawd.

*closes my eyes*

Okay, so, Hello, You.

You know, you're an important part of my life. Of my heart, actually. There are a lot of times I think about you. I think about you so so many times.

that so is intentionally repeated, 'cause, it's 'You'

The very first thing I wanna say to you is: I Miss Your Presence, You.

I would have called you by your name, but I don't know it. 

yet

I'd have called you by a name which is officially used for lover or soulmate, but that would be too common and you ain't just a random somebody.

I'd have called you by my given nickname to you, but then, nicknames are kept in a shared bond. This bond is one sided for now. You're missing from this bond.

for now

glad you don't know, that it's my way of saying i miss you

It's not difficult to talk to you. It isn't. I feel talking to you would be the easiest. It isn't right now because, again, uh, 'cause you haven't met me yet.

 

I don't know what you're supposed to do with your soulmates. Actually, nobody knows, you know? And people who have a few things in their mind on reading "things you're supposed to do with your soulmates"; they have all of it in their mind because they've seen it in movies, read it in books but actually, they too ain't sure. Somewhere in their mind, they know that this is fictional. It might not be this way in reality.

And fiction is so much different from reality. But then, that's the whole point of fiction, isn't it?

I don't know what and how to say what I came to say. So, I'm just gonna say all of it. Wait, let me see if you're still listening.

*about to open my eyes*

No, wait, I don't wanna open my eyes. I'll see you and I'll lose all my words like I did in the starting. I better speak all of it as it is.

*shuts my eyes tight*

A lot of my friends --not really friends, but people I know-- are heartbroken. By something or someone or both. And, they've come to the point where they just want someone who would listen to them, understand them, respect them and love them. Few don't even wish for love anymore, that's how bad they're hurt. I thought of you while thinking this.

Not because you'll break my heart someday. You won't, I know.

even if you would, I'll mend it and give it back to you, afterall you're.. uh, You

I thought of you on this because I want to tell you that if you too are heartbroken --or have ever been and healed-- I want you to know that I won't break your heart. If you wish to break any heart, remember that you've mine. I won't ask you to give yours to me. I'd just ask you to keep mine and allow me to take care of you.

i'd 'ask' so it's totally upon you if you wanna say yes as answer

I want to love you. I want to care for you.

I want to be there when you go to sleep. I want to be there to wish you Good Morning. I want to see you feel me when you open your eyes for a second in the middle of a night. I want to rub the backside of your hand with my thumb while you hold my hand for a second longer. I want to look at you from the other end of the room --and whether you're already staring or not-- and know you're mine. 

i'm yours is something i'll always know

I want to look into your eyes --considering that I'm brave enough to do that-- in a way that you'd be able to see it through your very own eyes into mine that there's someone who proved you wrong when you felt that you won't be loved the way you want to be loved.

I love you in a way I know what love is. But when we'll meet, I'll love you in a way that you understand.

Because what's the point of love if you don't understand it? if you don't feel it?

You feel love when you understand love.

That's why, it's difficult to believe "I Love You". 

Everybody loves in their own way. Everybody understands it differently.

When two people understand each other's love,  they're known as lovers. If one of them doesn't, the other keeps on increasing the amount of love, without realising that, doing that is like: Oh you didn't get what I said? Okay, I'll repeat it. And you just decide to repeat without acknowledging the fact that the sentence you're speaking is in a language that your listener doesn't understand. They know love but not the version you're familiar with.

If they care about you a lot, they'll stay. You'll keep repeating the sentence and they won't leave just so you don't get hurt.

But think, darling, how long would you yourself listen to a sentence in other language that's being said to you repeatedly in order to make you understand its meaning? Wouldn't you wanna leave? 

That's the reason of heartbreak. 

It's not your fault that they don't understand the language you love in.

And about what if you teach them? Oh, darling. Shh. It's language of love. Either you understand it from that person or it goes over your head.

Heartbreaks ain't really a fault of someone. It's just some things ain't understood by some people when spoken by a specific someone. 

You. My YOU. We might not have the same language but I believe, we would understand each other's language. That's how soulmates are made, I guess. 

This is just the first drop from the ocean of my words for you. I-

I want to.. uh, give you a good glance of my ocean of words and love for you so that you can decide if you want to come swim in it. Afterall, I can't ask you to jump without telling you how deep it is.

I won't tell you the exact depth --because I too am unaware of it-- but can we just agree to know depth of each other's oceans? 

I'll give you a good idea of mine so that you can decide whether you want to jump in it or not.

And for your ocean, I know it's very early to say but, I-

I'm ready to get drowned in your ocean, no matter if there's any life jacket or not.

only if you let me

If I'm someone that you find capable of finding the pearls at the bottom of your ocean, I'll jump into it.

If you let me drown in it, I know, I can find all the hidden and lost secrets, and we'll go through each one of those. Together.

I've a lot of things to say to you. For now, just know that I wanna love you, You. 

Meet me and I'll do.

And about the things which are there to say and are unsaid for now, I'll continue, Okay?

There's an expectation in me for you, though. 

I'll tell you right now. That is:

I expect you to..

I expect you to exist, You.

please, exist; and if you do, which I know you do, thankyou for existing, My You

*opens my eyes*

*blushes extemely*

*runs*

~Miss V