Am I Validating The Wrong Things?

I started writing a BlogPost a few days back.

It's not this one.

I had started another one after that, it's incomplete.

Did another; left in middle.

Wrote another but it got coated with a layer of my dark side, so immediately pressed back on that too.

it's saved though; automatic save remains on, by default on some apps

all of them are saved

But then, drafts are to be made and not to go back to. If I'm going in my drafts, I ain't returning in the same mood. 

You all have such places, yes? The places where you go in one mood and comes back in another, most of the times.

Notes app? Someone's chat? A folder in gallery? Call recordings? Hidden screenshots?

not speaking more; i don't plan to expose or give you more ideas for more such possible places

I was wondering if I could share something with you, from my this mood-changing place.

okay, i myself didn't know i'd say this but let's go with the no backspace rule

Okay, let me tell you just about this too and then go to that place to find something to show you.

About no backspace rule.

This is actually when you're confused what to say, how to say or how much to say. Whenever this happens to someone I'm speaking to and they're tensed or not very relaxed, I tell them to forget that there exists a backspace key. If you've typed a word with which your sentence isn't going okay, continue typing, I'll understand your sentence even if it's not framed according to the correct grammatical rules. If there's a wrong spelling, let it be; let's focus on what you've to say and not on your spelling mistakes. If you don't know how to keep all of it from your heart to me, then just write all the words revolving in your mind, we'll sort them out.

Basically, don't think on what you've been worrying about when you're here, just go for it. Type it down. Write it up. Speak it out. Just express your thoughts.

Believe in yourself that you can do it. And if it's possible, believe in me that I'll understand.

i understand most of the times and the times i don't, it's because i didn't want to and considering it's YOU, i want to understand what you want to say

You all are aware that if you want to speak on something or want me to speak on something, just type it out and send to unwindingheart@gmail.com

hehe, if you wish to

Coming to one of the drafts I have, to show you:-

hope my mood doesn't affect much, as it won't look good if my mood goes down towards the end

Okay, I-

Uh..

I went through 10-12 drafts, they're all, Uh-

Quotes.

Few are the ones I listened and few, uh, I wrote myself.

i can't recognise much; half of them are the mix of these two categories; like i listened something but changed its context and wrote my version

Uh, okay, I went through more.

My mood isn't same, that's for sure.

Now, I really gotta find something now that the mood change has happened. 

Something to show you, from this feelings filled pile.

SHET

I scrolled through more. There's uh, I-

Miss V, FIND SOMETHING TO SHOW

gawd

Okay, I have something.

There's this piece I wrote myself. Considering what I said above about me listening a line and writing my own version of it, let me tell you, the piece you're gonna read ahead is originally mine.

"Do you really think that every rose would want to rest in a beautiful vase for your eyes to stare, get sprinkled with water droplets on its petals and be caressed with your soft skin?

Some of them would wanna be held by your hand, get its stem broken in your grip, its leaves torn apart one by one by another hand, get its petals squeezed and crushed with your fingers until-

..oh, but, you'd keep them in your beautiful vase."

I wrote this.

It's actually for conveying that not everyone desires the same thing as others do.

All roses are kept so protectively in flower vases, used as decoration, as a symbol of this and that and all good things. It doesn't mean that you'll treat all roses like that.

This is a metaphor and it might not make much sense to you so let's shift to human's basic language.

*shifts from poet version to normal version of me*

Yes, so, I'll give you an example.

Your best friend is protective, suppose, and the first thing you remember when you think of them is their protective nature. And you like it.

Now, would every person want protective to be the most important quality in the person as their best friend?

Isn't it possible that you want your best friend as a person whose loveliest trait is their humour, on the second number their love for cricket maybe, third their urge to travel the world and when you think of your best friend, you remember these traits and not the protective one immediately? It's there but not the supreme trait in them.

This is something you'll get well, because wanting protective nature as their first trait or wanting someone to be an introvert, depends person to person and you'll understand this because it makes sense to you.

Now, coming more towards the meaning of the quote I wrote there.

Wanting to do excessive amount of workout till you can't stand on your feet rather than going through a regular set of exercises. 

Does this make sense to you?

If you've done this or know somebody who does, this might also make sense to you.

Depends on you and your mood, that you want to read an emotionally devastating novel or a sweet romantic story.

You'll get this too, because it also makes sense to you.

Now, if you'll read that quote, you'll get it better. Few roses don't wanna be kept in flower vases, they want their petals be crushed, their stem to be broken, left to die in toxic air without any water.

I don't know if I'm validating the wrong things or not but I want you to know that if you sometimes --or most of the times for that matter-- feel to choose things that people wouldn't normally choose, know that you ain't the only person to do that.

What if I tell you that the very next morning after nightmares are peace for some people?

might not make sense to you but it happens

What if I tell you that the drafts which can harm me emotionally for days are still there and ain't getting deleted because I want to keep such things with me, even if I don't go to them more often?

This is about me so I can try making sense of this a bit, in a sentence, without going into detail for this one.

I keep them because uh, okay, hehe, it's difficult to explain. But, even if you can't explain why you choose a particular thing instead of other more gentle and more logical thing, it's okay.

It's okay as long as you're okay with it.

And, I just noticed one thing that the quote you read above was written by me at 3:21am. 

Now, just to share one more original quote of mine, here it is.

without any explanation 'cause it's the type you won't need explanation for

"Hey, would you please stay till my dear body turns into ashes completely?

..or, is my soul destined to be left by you in the mid always?"

That's more than I intended to share, so, I'll just-

uh..

keysmashes

*runs*

~Miss V