Is It Okay To Feel This?

"Romeo save me, they're trying to tell me how to feel"

~Taylor Swift, Love Story

I saw that written on an Instagram post --yes, I've listened the song too-- and all I had in my mind after reading that was what I wrote in comments.

My comment was:-

are we really trying to get saved from people telling us how to feel or is it.. we crave to get saved from our own selves for we might unintentionally start feeling the way they want us to?

You know, there's a lot wrong going on in this world. We don't feel every single wrong thing in the world every single day but few wrong things hit us more frequently than rest of the other wrong ones. 

An unprivileged girl might feel patriarchy a lot --that is, if she's privileged enough to know atleast about patriarchy-- a labour might feel the expense things a lot more than others, old people might feel the lack of culture and manners maybe, LGBTQ+ people might feel the wrong they've against them in the world and constitution.

You too might have a different set of wrong things that you encounter more with.

I too have one set.

Out of that set, I'll tell you one thing that almost tops the list in this set and that is: we're told how to feel.

If there's one thing I'd like to change, I might change that.

It would solve almost half of the other issues really. We, human beings, make things complicated when we pay attention to or ignore how someone --we or others-- feel about something.

If we don't judge others for how they feel about a particular thing, it would be better, in a lot of scenarios.

Just sometime back, I was asked by someone if it's okay if they feel this way when this particular thing happens to them. It hits.

And it's not just this person. I can count n number of people who have asked me this question or have told me that they're feeling embarrassed about how they feel

like seriously

Yes, I understand your questioning on your feelings if you feel pleased on hitting a dog by your car. But questioning if feeling this way is right or not when it's just related to you and yourself, doesn't seem to make a lot of sense.

If you ain't hurting anybody, if you ain't hurting yourself and you're feeling something, let's say, when someone calls you by a particular name, you have every right to feel how you want to feel.

i'll get into more detail

Let's say, there's something which most of the people would get offended on, if someone calls them by this particular name.

If you don't get offended on it, then it's okay. Where's the list of things you must get offended on and the list of things you definitely have to return a smile for?

Where's the rulebook where it's written that loving this is okay but hating that isn't?

Where are the laws saying your brain is supposed to tell your body to react in a particular way when this happens and not smile when that happens?

Under what section, you can't love pain and in what part of sky it is written that it's wrong to feel good if 99% of the people feel bad in a damn situation?

If you ain't doing anything to hurt someone and the way you feel isn't affecting anyone else, then, isn't this feeling completely yours?

And it's you who get to decide how to feel upon it?

And no, I ain't any pure soul here.

I'm asked this a lot but I myself too had asked people if feeling this is okay or is it really good to be okay with it. I've asked it to other people and I just wonder how no one could tell me what I'm telling you in this whole piece today.

Listen to yourself when you feel something. Don't go and start judging yourself based on a single feeling.

If you tell me that you disrespected a person in a place full of people and you felt good, what do you think I'll do?

What do you think YOU'LL DO?

think; what would be your first reaction really

Now, I don't know if my reaction seems right to you or not but without a second thought, I'd ask this person why did they do so? What was their reason to disrespect them? What crime had this person committed that they're feeling so pleased on disrespecting them in a crowd?

I don't think I would be able to put up a decision straightforward on the accuracy of their feeling.

That person might have done something ridiculous.

And if they haven't, then there would be other things, misunderstandings possibly, but no matter what, there has to be a reason why someone would feel pleased on disrespecting someone in a crowd.

And no I ain't telling anybody that they can't feel pleased on doing that even if that person was completely innocent.

I'm simply stating in simple words that you can feel pleased, upset, angry and whatsoever feeling is ever felt by any human being on this earth and as far as you ain't acting for people's or your own harm, don't be embarrassed on how you feel.

Regarding why do you feel so? For example, why does someone feel pleasure when they're humiliated or why do few people crave pain?

You might not have your answers, right now, for how you feel.

But if you don't have an answer for why, then go search for it. Don't be helpless about your feelings.

Don't let yourself feel bad about how you feel on something.

You got a heart and a whole set of feelings this world has to offer.

Let no one tell you how you "should" feel.

And, repeating this, as long as you ain't harming yourself or someone else, try your best to be okay with how you feel.

Afterall, it's your own damn heart, Mahn.

You own it; own its belongings too.

The way you're feeling right now at the end of this piece is totally valid.

If you're Okay, then, smileeeee, darling.

~Miss V