Things I Wanna Tell You

Hellooooo, people.

How're you? If you're okay, good; very good. If not, then you made the right choice by being here.

Happy five two's. "02.02.2022"

You know sometimes, I wonder that not everything you read might be relatable to you.

There are some things which you relate to and there are those which you don't relate to but still understand them.

not going into the topics which are neither relatable nor understandable for you

I wanna show you a few excerpts from the novel, Big Little Lies by Liane Moriarty and write why I want to show you this specific part along with them.

PS: No Spoilers.

"How could they admit to a stranger what went on in their marriage? The shame of it. The ugliness of their behavior. They were a fine-looking couple. People had been telling them that for years. They were admired and envied. They had all the privileges in the world. Overseas travel. A beautiful home."

I wanna tell you:- 

It doesn't have to be perfect if it looks like it. You don't have to maintain an image in which you feel trapped. You deserve to be free.

"He knew exactly why it had hurt so much. There would be an exquisite piece of jewelry in his bag when he returned from his business trip. Another piece for her collection. She would never wear it, and he would never ask why."

I wanna tell you:- 

The unsaid things in a relationship --every relation; not just the romantic ones-- which are avoided in conversations, are most probably red flags. Beware.

"This was the problem. She was still hopelessly, helplessly attracted to him."

I wanna tell you:- 

Loving a sadist can really be an issue. Not an advice here, just stating a fact.

"My husband hits me. Never on the face of course. He’s far too classy for that. Does yours hit you? And if he does, and this is the question that really interests me: Do you hit back? “I’m fine,” she said."

I wanna tell you:- 

I know there are questions which you can't ask strangers but make sure you ask someone someday. Who knows whose one sentence would fuel the motivation you needed to do the right thing?

"But the thought of being with any other man besides him filled her with a heavy, listless sensation. She’d be so bored. She was not interested in other men. He made her feel alive. If she left him, she’d be single and celibate and bored forever. It wasn’t fair. He ruined her."

I wanna tell you:- 

Sadist thing again. But advice here: Sometimes, the right decision and the decision which would make you happy are on two different roads. Happiness can be found on the right road but the opposite? difficult.

"She loved him. She was still in love with him. She still had a crush on him. He made her happy and made her laugh. She still enjoyed talking with him, watching TV with him, lying in bed with him on cold, rainy mornings. She still wanted him. But each time she didn’t leave, she gave him tacit permission to do it again. She knew this. "

I wanna tell you:- 

When you know your inner self is telling you not to do something, listen to it. Think about it. Don't ignore it. Sometimes, all you need to do is relax for a bit and listen to what you think you really want.

"Now she pressed her hand to her upper arm and battled the desire to cry. She wouldn’t be able to wear that sleeveless dress tomorrow now."

I wanna tell you:- 

Crying and weakness are not interrelated. Cry whenever you're hurt. Path towards escape, um, try not to go there. Try your level best to stay away from escape. Grieve. Sometimes, crying is the bravest thing you do.

"It could have been so much worse. He rarely hit her face. She’d never broken a limb or needed stitches. Her bruises could always be kept secret with a turtleneck or sleeves or long pants. He would never lay a finger on the children. The boys never saw. It could be worse. Oh, so much worse. She’d read the articles about proper domestic violence victims. That was terrible. That was real. What he did didn’t count. It was small stuff, which made it all the more humiliating, because it was so . . . tacky. So childish and trite. He didn’t cheat on her. He didn’t gamble. He didn’t drink to excess. He didn’t ignore her, like the way her father had ignored her mother. That would be the worst. To be ignored. To not be seen. His rage was an illness. A mental illness. She saw the way it took hold of him, how he tried his best to resist. When he was in the throes of it, his eyes became red and glassy, as if he were drugged. The things he said didn’t even make sense. It wasn’t him. The rage wasn’t him. Would she leave him if he got a brain tumor and the tumor affected his personality? Of course she wouldn't."

I wanna tell you:- 

Do not. I repeat, Do not rationalize the hurt you're going through. You'll always find something worse than what you're going through. Pain should not be compared. Someone who lost their partner and someone whose child has cancer. Who's in more pain? 

You don't compare someone dying from drowning in an ocean and someone dying from drowning in a swimming pool. Both dead. From drowning. Why compare?

Do not rationalize the hurt you're going though. You pain is valid.

And I wish from the core of my heart that what you're going through gets less painful and things get better for you real soon.

I really wish so, darling. Smile.

~Miss V