After All, Life Is Fair Or Unfair?

Hellooooo, people.

Today’s topic is difficult. Difficult is an understatement; it’s heart-wrenching. First of all, I've got a complaint to whoever makes decisions for all of us, who has the control of things for which we say "it wasn’t in our hands", who decides who lives & who dies and to whoever is responsible for what wasn’t supposed to happen; not to that specific person.

My complaint can be summed up in just one question: Why is it so unfair? All of this?

To the person who asked me to write upon this: here, i put your exact words you said when you asked me to write upon this topic; ‘cause these texts were so full of feelings that it rang my heart the way a hammer rings a bell. The echoes of your words are still surrounding me and the feelings in your words reached me. 

A lot of people might feel that nobody can understand what they’re feeling when they hear about someone’s death. To all those people, I do. I feel you all. I’m an empath to an extreme level, of course, I feel you.

“Everything is more beautiful because we are doomed. You will never be lovelier than you are now. We will never be here again.

~Homer”

Is it? Is it really beautiful that we’re doomed? Doesn’t it strangle your heart, Homer, that we’re doomed? How can it be a good thing that we won’t get to live the same moment twice? Why can’t we feel the same happiness twice? Don’t we deserve at least this much if we’re doomed?

Yes, we deserve it. We deserve to feel happiness in all the ways possible as many times as possible, just not in the same moment. You can enjoy holding the hand of your best friend. But when was that moment when you weren’t just holding their hand but enjoying holding their hand? When did you start feeling satisfied with the presence of that someone? When did you know that this place gives you peace? When exactly did you get to know that you're most comfortable in this sleeping position in this particular place?

Do we really know? We don’t know the exact moments when did something turn from normal to special. Isn’t it very efficient for all of us that we do not have the choice to go back to a particular moment? 'cause if we could go back, there would be conditions –let’s say, you can go back only this specific number of times or you can feel the exact same things and visit the place but not take the person with you or living the same happiness from past subtracts two from your future– there would be some condition because there always is. If we could go back only a specific number of times, how can you be sure you would know exactly which moment you want to go in?

Look at it, mahn! Just think about the moment you want to go back. Suppose, it can only be twice. Not even once, but twice. Which moment would you choose? The one where your parents were happy because of you? The first time you went on the stage while hundreds of people were clapping for you? The moment when you were in that special moment with that special person? Or the moment when you enjoyed the company of yourself for the first time? Or maybe the one where you were dancing with your best friends surrounded by all your good people? Or the one where your Dad hugged you?

Which two moments would you choose? And let’s suppose, you’ve chosen those moments. How do you know for sure you won’t regret it or want more? There’s no end to our desires. You can get even ten chances of going back to your happiest moment and you’ll still feel the urge to live your moments again with the same intensity as you’re feeling now.

Think it over. Imagine the deal with any condition and you’ll eventually get to the point where you’ll realize that it’s okay this way.

Okay, I don’t want the same moment twice, but what about the grief we face? What do you do with the feeling when you’ve done wrong things almost all your life but your partner who has always led an idealistic life meets their death first? How do you deal with such unfairness? Should it really have been their death; the death of the person who has done nothing but good all their life? 

If you’re doing all the wrong things which you know affect your partner too, then shouldn’t it be your partner whose pain should end? You didn’t realize it before but now you do. That idealistic person had gone through the pain because of your wrongdoings so shouldn’t they deserve some rest? Your wrongdoings weren’t going to stop any sooner so whoever-is-in-control-of-the-universe found a way to make you realize.

Am I justifying the death of a good person?

No, I’m not justifying anything. My point is when someone goes on a wrong path, it doesn’t only affect you, it affects people around too. Universe has its own mysterious ways of doing things. I just tried to put an explanation why a person who has always led an idealistic life might have to meet death sooner than we think they deserve?

Nobody has answers to the things such as why would this person had to die or why couldn’t the universe give that person the happiness they deserve. Nobody has the answers but we’re allowed to make our guesses while managing to keep us sane.

Probably the death of that good person was necessary because they had suffered a lot than they should have, considering the goodness in them? Probably some other person’s life is full of hardships because they’re going to set a new example for the world if they keep going just a little longer?

We can only make guesses. We can only live in this moment. We can only manage to keep going forward even if our unfair lives continuously try to pull us back. We can only love ourselves enough to make the right guesses. We can only share our love with others so that we know we are not the only ones leading unfair lives.

this reminded me of something

I did a poll on Instagram a long time ago which had two options:-

Option 1: After all, Life is fair.

Option 2: After all, Life is unfair.

58% of people chose first. Rest chose the second.

Which would you choose? 

I made out an explanation for why people chose this or that. It's my explanation. You could agree or disagree or have another point of view.

The people who chose the first option have either made the right guess and consoled themselves to accept the unfair things that they went through or they believe they’re the ones who make it fair or unfair, so they choose fair because they believe in themselves enough.

The people who chose the second option have either recently gone through something unfair in their life and are still making the guess or they’re no more willing to make guesses because they’ve accepted that it’s unfair.

And Me? What would I choose? Oh, haven’t come to that yet. I’m still figuring out if I'm doing fair with myself or not. If the universe is doing fair with me or not is a topic I’m not yet ready to ponder over.

~Miss V