How Do You Measure The Weight Of Gestures?

Hellooooo, people.

First of all, I'M LATE! 

sowwie, even if you don't mind me being late 'cause I was super stressed for n number of reasons, had six consecutive nights of nightmares followed by the worst set of exams I've ever taken, which was followed by physical illness; and all of this alongside handling some other issues

Let me tell you what just happened first. That's the motivation for today's topic.

I came to the library today a little before time and I was like 'wow, I'm so early'. The temperature which was above the forties for days, it came down to thirty. I got a seat on the bus and the guard uncles --one at the main gate and the other at the library entry-- talked to me; which is rare for me. So, all good, right?

this has been the only best for a few days

I entered the library. The person who sits there said just wait a few minutes, it's not nine yet. I started to turn when the sweeper uncle said, is it time yet? --pointing towards the clock-- it's not! Look! Don't enter, wait outside. Come at nine.

I don't know which expression I gave but the person who had asked me to wait outside politely said to him, Mind your tone. I've already asked her, didn't I? She's going outside, isn't she? You're ready to take her life for it, it seems. Watch your tongue. You're not supposed to talk like that to just about anybody.

i listened to this while i was picking up my things and at that last part, i stepped out the door

I'd start today's topic now. And that is. Small things matter; a lot.

I've had a lot of ups and downs in the last three weeks. It was such a roller coaster ride and not even the normal one but in a tunnel. These weeks felt dark. I don't know if the roller coaster ride is over for me yet or not but I know the tunnel part has ended. I might get a scary turn just after sometime but at least I don't feel myself in the dark. 

Looking back, I realize how desperately I was looking for the little things. Good things. Small good things.

The punctuality in me made me happy, even if it was for one day in the last twenty eight. The nights I woke up abruptly were good too because waking up just because some part of my body was hurting felt better than having to sit up suddenly due to a nightmare. The library person who scolded that uncle for being rude to me felt weirdly good. The guards who talked to me gave me a chance to listen to my own voice. Such little good things kept me going. 

There were little bad things too. Getting my foot hit with absolutely nothing and got a sprain. Getting that sprained foot hit with something just after two minutes. Getting stepped over that same damned foot after an hour. Getting my thigh hit from the corner of my own bed whose position I'm very aware of. 

yes, because getting through a day without any accident is not my kind of thing 

kidding, okay? i don't do it intentionally

This write-up might feel about myself but it's not. It's about me trying to tell you a certain thing taking myself as an example. That certain thing, being, little things are not so little. You getting upset over something small is okay. You getting happy over some teeny-meeny bit is okay too.

Things which appear small to you right now might not be small to others and vice versa.

This probably answers these questions, which I've been asked:-

"I didn't do anything big but they're still upset about it. Why?"

you didn't do anything big but maybe that small thing you did was the last drop in their vessel to make it spill over? maybe they ain't upset with 'you' specifically but upset with all the things going on, including what you did, even if it's a small something?

"I just asked them how was their day and they seem to be a bit too happy about it. Is it really that big a deal?"

maybe, they were looking for something good to happen? and you probably asked them when they were just about to lose hope to find any good around

Also, a few quotes that go with this write-up in some or the other way:-

"You are so brave and quiet, I forget you are suffering." ~Ernest Hemingway

"Sometimes you think you're giving a person the world but you're not. Sometimes your world is not their world." ~Sue Zhoa, It's Called Incompatibility

This one might need a little explanation of how it's related. Here:

It's about whether you can give some big thing to someone or give them the smallest. The way they see it doesn't necessarily need to be the same as you do. You can give them the world but they wouldn't consider it as 'the world'. And sometimes, you can just ask someone if you could give them a hug and that could mean the world to them.

"Sometimes I wish I could read your mind. But then, I wonder if I could handle the truth." ~The Vow

you never know what things might be small for the other person and what could mean the world to them; but isn't that something you shouldn't think of before doing something? i mean, you could be kind either way, couldn't you?

"Stop thinking about everything so much, you're breaking your own heart." ~Unknown

i don't know if i'm the right person to tell you that, 'cause i've broken my heart a lot of times myself so, let's not talk over this one, just remember this?

"I am a different person to different people. Annoying to one. Talented to another. Quiet to a few. Unknown to a lot. But who am I, to me?"

On this one, I'd just like to remind you that while you're suffering or desperately looking for good things or getting overwhelmed by little not-so-little things or preparing to fight in your next battle and so on, just remember that who you're to yourself matters.

And, it's okay if you don't know who are you to yourself, but it's not okay to forget that you're the most important person in the world. Okay, darling?

Also, there's something I gotta tell you. This is the last write-up before I announce that I've completed one year of blogging. The next write-up is going to be on the date I posted the first blog. 

Hope you meet kindness in a lot of ways in the little not-so-little things.

Smile, honey. Hope you have a better week than the previous one.

~Miss V