What Are We Suffering From, Exactly?

Hellooooo, people.

"He who fears he shall suffer, already suffers from what he fears."

~Michel De Montaigne

I especially sat down to find this quote to put here because I had a moment yesterday where I felt this. I remember reading a lot of quotes, watching scenes, images from my imagination while reading novels and glances of flashbacks of the people I've had encounters with. 

you might too, a few if not a lot

One of the most mesmerising things about art --writings, plays, poems, stories, movies, series, music and so on-- is that when you don't find the words to express what you're feeling, you subconsciously --or intentionally-- go to art. 

You turn to art and put your finger on things which feel similar to your emotions to say 'this is what I want to express.'

I asked a few people to give me their views on this quote and damn, they had nothing. I was looking forward to pick out examples which match to the ones I had in my mind. But I did get something from them.

examples but not the accurate ones

One of the examples that I got for this quote is: people fear from commitment but they still commit.

I say, it's not the right example. When someone is scared of commitment, they're scared for the moment they commit to someone. The moment they enter into a commitment --or say, relationship-- whenever anything gets uncomfortable for them, they don't feel the fear of commitment but the regret of it. Fear and regret are two different feelings, darling.

i've felt the difference; i know

might tell you someday but let's stay on the topic for now

Next example I got was: fear of being in a toxic relationship. This example too doesn't fit. If you're scared of being in such a relationship then, you're out of it. And if you're in it, you probably ain't aware of its toxicity? And if you're in a toxic relationship and you're aware of it as well, then it's not something you're scared of.

makes sense, right?

So, what's the right example? What supports this quote?

i wonder how no one could give me an example for this; let me give you examples; plural, yes

Suppose you're scared of being with a certain type of people --let's say, people who are way too serious, or people who don't express even when their relationships are at stake.

The example could be: Suppose, you're scared of making friends with people who disappear without any notice just because they need a break. Now, how do you know you're scared of friendship with such people? Because you've experienced it. Right?

How could you say you're not experiencing it at the moment? Are all your friends present at the moment or are you worried about anyone for why you haven't been able to reach them?

you might not relate to this, but people who are 'scared' of people who go on unannounced breaks will relate

So, this example fits this quote in this way:

You're scared of being friends with people who go on unannounced breaks. At this moment, you have friends. You know you fear it, because you've experienced it (by your friends). Once you get them out of your life, new people come to you. If they're of the same type you're scared of being friends with, that is where the quote applies.

He who fears he shall suffer, already suffers from what he fears.

Next example. 

trying to give you something that could be relatable

Scared of not being able to keep a certain person in your priority.

Let's say you're trying to keep a person near the top of your priority list, but you ain't able to keep up with it? You do get them on priority but you keep losing the grip on it and they slip down below.

The reason you're facing difficulty in keeping someone in priority could be: they make you upset, hurt you OR you've much more urgent matters at hand? It's like you know you gotta keep this person in your priority but you've this important project that needs your whole month.

During this whole month, you're scared if you do not keep this person in your priority, you might lose them --this same month might be the worst time of their life? this could be the time when you're needed the most there? and if you do not stay with them, your bond will get affected badly?

or another possible reason is: they could cause real trouble to the project you're working on? another reason might be: this person hurts you emotionally but they could be the only person at the moment who would take care of your loved ones while you focus on your project?

it could be just any reason, really 

So, how this quote fits? You're scared of not being able to keep a certain person in your priority. 

Because, if you do, you might lose an important opportunity of your career. But if you don't, you might lose the person who has never asked you for a single thing and stayed with you always but this is the point where it's in your hands to not let your most important bond degrade.

for people, who wants to say that the most important bonds don't get affected by just one incident, i wanna tell you that there are incidents which affect a person so much that their relationships ain't in their hands anymore? these are the incidents for which friends are needed; these are the times where friends take charge of the bond for good when you can't, because you're deteriorating

Conclusion of this example: you're suffering from what you fear (i.e., keeping them at priority) because you might be willing to lose this important opportunity rather than to lose them and you suffer from what you fear (you suffer by keeping them at priority).

It would be difficult because you can't exactly give up on an opportunity which could change your life, can you?

This quote hit me so hard when I had read it. I felt this yesterday, a few days ago and it seems like I feel this almost everyday now.

Afterall, I'm suffering from what I fear I shall suffer.

'cause afterall, i do have my fears as well as the demons to make me suffer

I hope your sufferings end and if they don't, soon, I hope you get the courage to hold them by their neck and end them right then and there.

'cause, you don't deserve to suffer, honey; you deserve to live, love, be loved and smile a lot

Smileeeee, darling.

~Miss V