Unwinding Heart

It doesn't matter in the end where and how it started; sometimes all you remember is where and how it ended. Let's not begin from the beginning. We know twists are inevitable. Skipping the part where I was enjoying, let's come to the part where the end started. I was trembling in a corner of a dark room, surrounded by two walls, and two lovely strangers. They were practising, hard, throwing knives to a target. As far as I remember, they missed their target a lot and the wall behind me was bruised; they were beginners, I felt. Twice, it was just near the target but still not my neck even once. A pile of knives was at my feet, and I don't remember anything sweet. They were dedicated and didn't stop throwing knives, even when it was so dark, plus, their target wasn't steady in corner. They sometimes were just about to hit right, but my hands acted as obstacles just fine. I didn't know how sharp the knives were, until one scratched my neck vertically just right ...

Hellooooo, people. This is a rare piece. It’s an early morning write-up. Whatever you have ever read, almost everything was an evening or night write-up or just woke up from a nightmare kind of write-ups or poems. Once the day passes and the time to go to bed gets closer, the emotions get stacked up high. not sure if that’s just me though The way everything replays in your head – everything that has happened in the day – until you are lying down on the bed. For someone like me, who feels so much, I’m more expressive during my night conversations. And oh gawd! Don’t get me started on when the layer of filters between my mind and tongue starts fading away as I get sleepy. those who have had sleepy conversations would know, rest of you can just imagine this to be a more honest version of a person but more adorable than they usually are Still can’t believe that it’s a morning write-up. And if I’m not gonna write about the emotions I have collected in the whole day, then what am I going to ...

  “I believe in poems as I do in haunted houses. We say, someone must have died here.” ~Rosa Alcalá Hellooooo, people. I was determined to write a write-up which would be the conclusions of how to deal when things you don't deserve happen to you. I even had those things in my head so ready. I hadn't figured the words I'll speak in but I remember being glad about having something positive to write instead of expressing the grief I was in. I thought I was doing okay now. But guess what? Not only I have realized that I never really got the positive words in my head – it was a fleeting moment of clarity – but I also realised that the grief I thought would fade, is actually much deeper than I myself realize. If you feel alright when you're alone but get uneasy around the people who hurt you, then you're not really alright. And, when people who hurt you are the people who you've not chosen yourself, being alright gets even harder because you cannot really “take your t...

Hellooooo, You. referring to the person who I feel will be my love The people who are reading this and if you know you’re not going to be my love forever , you might feel like a third wheel, but but, please stay. Because, I haven’t met my “You” yet and I seriously need someone to listen. hey, you, if you’re reading this, after a few months or years, please know that i wrote this piece just to get this feeling to you Let’s start from the story of how you became “You” and not some “My cutie”, “My sweet pie” or whatever names people call their loved ones by. Some of the people call their future partner as “Mr/Ms. Perfect” but I don’t want a perfect guy. Whoever I’ll love and feel loved with, is going to be a person of his own kind, just one. And, how could you name someone who already has a name, without knowing them. Since I don’t know his name yet, I’m just going to call him “Mr. You.”  My Mr. You. In the very start – 4 years ago probably? – I used to think of my future partner as M...

If Everything Around Seems Dark, Look Again, You May Be The Light ~ Rumi 💙

Hellooooo, people. Let’s talk about the minute feelings which haven't been given a single word yet to describe them fully. Let’s put them somewhere. Let me write and make you feel that if you relate to this in any way, you’re not alone.  There are a lot of feelings in this world and yet the first ones which come to our minds are: Happiness, sadness, anger, satisfaction, anxiety, awkwardness, calm, confusion, pain, fear, relief, romance, surprise, excitement. Even the ones I just mentioned weren’t the ones you remembered immediately.  i’m right, ain’t i? We all have experienced those moments where when even we have someone who would listen to us and understand, we go like, “I don’t know how to express.” or “I don’t have words to tell you what I’m feeling.” There should have been more words. More sentences. no more feelings though; ain’t we already so filled of them? or is it just me being an extreme empath, feeling my emotions as well as of everyone else’s around me? Imagine th...